Self Assessment Experience 4

My two strengths?

I don't really consider myself a strong person. But I've noticed something about myself in the past couple of weeks. I'm a mother. I don't mean I have a child. But, I've become a mother to my siblings, my mother, my roommate, my group of friends, my ex lover, my potential lovers...

My strength could be that I will go above and beyond to take care of anyone who needs me to care for them.

But that can also be a weakness.

Because that's the exact type of thinking that ends up getting you way too invested in other people and as a result you end up in a psyche ward wondering what the fuck happened to you.

As for plans, I don't know.

I don't exactly want to get rid of this trait. It's a part of me, and one of the few things that keeps me a good person and stops me from falling into some sort of destructive spiral. But at the same time, people are innately evil and selfish and will only ever hurt those they care about and those who care about them. This is a fundamental truth. So I suppose maybe if I continue to be a good person while removing myself emotionally from those I take care of, I won't be as painfully invested when they leave.

I'm not exactly the most positive when it comes to fixing myself. I acknowledge that I am broken, but then I teeter between "not worth fixing" and "completely content with being that way and don't want to fix myself".

Insert positive thinking here.

Insights about my performance?

I'm already really bad at pulling away from the people I "mother" and care for.

It's an experience in which I will always be doomed to repeat the patterns.

Have a nice day everyone.